Life’s Best Practices :)

Life is a sequence of time and events, and it is more about what you do to it than what it does to you. While everyone’s circumstances are different and there is no magic wand or magic potion to help you sail through life, I think it makes sense to analyze what works best in it. This is an attempt to pen down some best practices I have found in my life...

Do the right thing(s) !

Your success does not depend on working hard, it depends on doing the right thing(s). Working hard might be one of the right things, at times. Just like it is important to do the right things, it is important not to do the ‘not right’ things. Invest and spend your time to find what is right in circumstances and different phases of life, and go about doing it. Defining ‘right’ is subjective to each individual and sometimes there might not be ‘the’ right thing and decision making comes to the fore here.

Find Good Mentors, and/but take your own decisions !

It's said “A picture is worth a 1000 words” and I would say “A good mentor is worth a 1000 friends”. Your first mentors are you parents, then the teachers and as your life progresses, you find less mentors when you are supposed to take up more responsibilities and handle more complexities. A good mentor can be the guiding light at different phases of life but remember that the path has to be traversed by you and it is very important to take own decisions and keep learning/growing along the way.

Invest in yourself - take responsibilities and keep learning !

The best investment that can happen is an investment in self. There are various ways to invest in self - like trainings, networking, reading and most importantly, taking up responsibility. It is important to have a positive frame of mind, believing in self and persist with learning and gaining expertise. Knowledge and skills should pay handsomely, in the long run.

Focus on health !

I think ‘Health should be considered as wealth’, which actually it is. It is highly advisable to focus on health - regular exercise, good sleep, right nutrition, managing stress, etc are all key ingredients to healthy living.

Give sufficient time and enjoyment to family !

Life feels longer when difficult and shorter when merry. It is important to have everything balanced, more so when it comes to Work-Life balance. The people who care for you the most are your family. Give sufficient time, care and love to family, take vacations, do enough leisure activities with them - Family is who cares the most for you.

Make lasting friendships/relationships !

Relationship is a two way street: While someone can be of help to you, there is immense happiness in being able to help someone out. It is not just about give and take; and a good company can be much more rewarding when it inspires and motivates ! 

Cultivate hobbies and follow interests !

While it is a lot about investments and returns in life, you should find time to cultivate some hobbies and follow your interests. A happy moment or a pleasant memory can help you survive some tough ones. You should be able to create enough fun in your life that helps you stay blessed.

VIVID(Broadway) show @ Berlin

Back in 2003, I went to UK as a rookie and was astonished and amazed with lot many things like cleanliness, Bus with GPS updates, 7-level underground metro/tubes, super trains, palaces, google maps, nightlife and so many other things.

Since then I have been at many foreign countries and have also experienced the changing India; and have not been astonished much in a very big sense. The cleanliness of the foreign still makes me awed, but i don’t miss much otherwise in India as such.

Yesterday, I was quite astonished and amazed… well, by a theatrical display - something called VIVID(Broadway) show at “Friedrichstadt-Palast Berlin”. It is difficult to describe it in words.. I won’t say it is a must watch but if you do happen to watch it - extravagance is an understatement for it, mesmerizing also probably might be an understatement, elegant definitely.. It was different.. Nothing close to what i have witnessed.. It was simply impossible to not clap and whistle. I will take a go at describing it, but I am afraid I will fall way short of it…

The show was a combination of live music, live dance, live singing, acrobatics, aerial acrobatics,  acro-dynamics(i have coined this term; don’t know how else to define what is saw) , fireworks, laser show, vivid mesmerizing colourful lights, extravagant costumes, animations, human-animation interaction, some live painting projected on a huge screen, it was definitely dangerously breath-taking for some of the artists, and all glued together as a light touching story. They even included one of the spectators in stage performance for 10 minutes.

We were in a huge auditorium .. may be 1000 people or more, at the top row to give a beautiful overview vision. The stage was magnificent podium.. And it was truly dynamic - black, semi-circular, around 40-50 meters wide and there was hardly anything that was not moving - it had rotation, it went up and down, it was broken into small/big sections which opened and people and instruments and ropes went inside it and came out.. There was a huge circular stage part in the middle of it .. which could be pivoted up to be used as digital display for projections.. There was a curtain for animation projection and at the back, there were live musicians.. The stage had an extension to first floor gallery where musicians, dancers and actors performed as well.

You can watch the trailer at this URL https://www.palast.berlin/en/.

The best part of it was, that at the end, it did not feel like a punch in your face.. It was simply soft, elegant and beautiful. It is something to be witnessed and experienced..

Beautiful...

It’s been ages that I am used to being called ‘Swaroop’ and it has never been hurting or pleasure-some. Well, it’s just my name. 

This week, I am in berlin and in a room with around 10 people, the client CTO (while practicing everybody’s name) said “Swaroop” is beautiful; such a beautiful name; I will remember it.

I have never thought, heard or expected anybody to say my name is “beautiful”.. Well, I don’t know what is beautiful in it, neither do I feel any beauty in it as such.. nor do I expect to ever hear this again.. 

But, it just surprised me and that memory is beautiful !

While I am pondering over this, I realize the beauty is not in the compliment, the beauty is of the person to say such a beautiful thing .. I have met so many people, heard so many names, but probably never have I complimented anybody for their name.. neither I have been complimented ever for my name … keep aside so much grace and beauty.

After all, my name is just another name !

Moving on, I found Berlin beautiful - though I have not been able to do sightseeing at all due to the worsening of my back problem.. I could find a lot of greenery here, there’s cleanliness, the buildings and architecture is beautiful, the public transport is great and the people have been very kind and generous with sharing of knowledge .. with their funny bones at display whole lot of times.. The uber drivers always wish “Have a good day.. have a good evening..”. Feels great, just coz I didn’t expect from them...

Apart from everything, for the first time - I found the crows to be beautiful.. Crows were not black.. But quite colorful.. Black head and beaks, but colorful feathers… 

All in all, a lot of beauty witnessed.. 

A beautiful world awaits inside

The modern life has brought upon a lot of pressure, stress, irritation and frustration in our lives. We are part of a generation that wants to grow in life, be it at any cost. I asked a question to my mother and mother-in-law : “What are the three most important things in life as per your experience of life?” at different times at different places and surprisingly, I got the same answer from both of them - “Food, Shelter and Clothes”. And I was thinking am I missing something, is that all about life - the most important things? The answer was staring me in my face - the times have changed and the pursuits of life have changed. And then I was again thinking, may be “food, shelter and clothes” are the most important things for a lot of people today as well, it’s just not for me.

There are a lot of important things, but the three most important things, as per my experiences are “people, money and health'', not necessarily in that order. The fact that I never had to struggle for either of food, shelter or clothes, doesn’t make me list them as important but since money can take care of not only each of those, but a lot of other necessities and luxuries as well, it is quite important.  Each of these entities are independent - people cannot provide for money and health, money cannot provide for people and health and health cannot provide for people and money.

At the end of the day, we want to be happy, content and satisfied. The entire life we spend running around is about satiating our needs, wishes, desires and greed. The realization of “important to me” is a mere tip of the iceberg and the whole world inside us awaits for our attention. The external behavior is just a small reflection of what lies inside us, our intrinsic world. The positivities and negativities are deeply ingrained into us and it can be quite challenging to understand and realize our intrinsic behavior. A person is the sum total of energy, feelings, emotions, thoughts, intelligence and our physical body. A beautiful world awaits to be created inside us, that which not only makes ourselves happy, content and satisfied but probably a few more souls around us can also benefit from it. It is probably just about understanding the importance of things !

x

Being lucky….

You should not be unlucky.. But, I guess, neither should you be a lucky chap. 

Luck is a cryptic word .. and I guess, it will continue to be so. In my personal life, I have seen people lose their lives in accidents, I have seen people lose a limb out of misfortune, I have seen people bear the brunt of extreme illness.. it can be absolutely shocking and extremely painful. Pray to god, we don’t end up on the wrong side of the luck.. It can just wipe us out !

On the other side, in my personal life, I haven’t seen people being lucky on similar magnitude as compared to the misfortunes I have witnessed. I guess it is a natural phenomenon to not have such a quantum of luck on your side. I have seen people move out of poverty, I have seen people get good jobs, I have seen people get promoted to good profiles, I have seen people start their companies.. But all of this, it has been slow and has been through their talent and efforts. I believe this is a good thing - to not be a lucky chap, to deserve what you have got, to have worked for your achievements. 

May be, it really takes a stroke of magic to be extremely lucky - to be somebody like M.S. Dhoni to have won a T20I world cup and ODI world cup as well. Nobody calls Steve Waugh’s or Ricky Ponting’s Australian team to be lucky, they were such a great team, played so well, they just deserved it. It is not out of luck, but out of talent, effort and attitude, should you be in possession of something.

Having said the above and not in a position to comprehend the luck enough, I guess, it is unfair to not attribute your talent and attitude to luck as well. We are born with attributes in a certain environment to certain people and this is the biggest piece of magic, the biggest piece of luck that I have seen in my personal life - to be born the person we are - the behavior, the environment, the aspirations, the constraints.. which is not so easy to comprehend or explain - perhaps of the same magnitude of the misfortunes I have witnessed. Perhaps, we are bound to be lucky or unlucky, whether we like or not !

x

Give yourself time…to want more

The more you want, the more you will try.

Dreams are a dime a dozen. it's their execution that counts.

• Theodore Roosevelt

Having a dream doesn’t guarantee its fulfilment. The efforts, the circumstances, the abilities, the luck all play their due part. Having acknowledged the different forces at interplay, we should understand the connected successes and failures influences - a toll on your psyche,  a toll on your thoughts, a toll on your behavior, a toll on your attitude. Success can make you content and failure can burn you out. Most of all, it takes a toll on what you want.

There is no end to desires, and people say the way to be happy is “limiting your desires”. May be, but then, you might limit your achievements as well. Much like a balanced diet, a balanced life is quintessential. The term ‘balanced’ is the tricky, the subjective aspect of the life. Even more tricky is you might not know if it is balanced or not, till it does becomes unbalanced.

What you want is what you can get. The quality of desire will decide the pursuit and the destinations. Give yourself time.. to ignite the wants, to want more, to want better. Try to have balanced desires but definitely keep wanting more.. more challenges, more relaxation, more learning, more achievements.. just, so much more.

वो कागज़ की कश्ती, वो बारिश का पानी

We often come across people becoming nostalgic about childhood. It can be best summarized by the following song by Jagjit Singh:

ये दौलत भी ले लो, ये शौहरत भी ले लो,

भले छीन लो मुझसे मेरी जवानी,

मगर मुझको लौटा दो बचपन का सावन,

वो कागज़ की कश्ती, वो बारिश का पानी,

वो कागज़ की कश्ती, वो बारिश का पानी …..

Only if, there were a time machine.. but there isn’t one!

The realities and complexities of the world stare us in the face and we cozy ourselves up by the warm simplicities and sweet memories of the childhood; often wishing to re-live those old golden days.

Agreed, childhood was great. But, the next best time to childhood is right now, right here. The time we have on our hands is a chance, is an opportunity to create another ‘कागज़ की कश्ती’ and another ‘बारिश का पानी’ moment.

When we are getting frustrated and irritated by the situations, when we are overwhelmed by the realities and complexities of life, when we are realizing the frailties and shortcomings of luck, it is actually perfect time to relax, it is actually perfect time to understand that life just goes on, it is actually perfect time to assimilate the beauty around us.

This is way too easier said than done, but it is definitely worth a try. The world will continue to move, whether you fail or succeed, whether you live or die. Your failure mostly affects you or at most some small number of people, but the clock continues to tick and the world just continues to rotate and revolve. You might give yourself a better chance by being relaxed and trying out a few more things.

Remember, the time machine exists only in ‘Avengers – the end game’ and movies alike. Make the best use of time and see if you can have your cherished ‘वो कागज़ की कश्ती’ and ‘वो बारिश का पानी’ right now, right here !!

A new h...t

There are around 195 countries in the world – some are poor, some are rich, some are developed, some are developing and so on, so forth. Being in India, we love it when we achieve something substantial, as a country – be it an A-SAT test, be it Mars Orbiter Mission, be it an Indian cricket world cup win, be it an Oscar win, be it bullet train project, so on, so forth. We are a developing country and we cherish every positive step of development in the country.

As an Indian, I am a proud tax payer. If nothing else, I am doing the basic minimum by paying taxes and doing my bit in contributing to India’s story. As a teen, I heard of ‘brain drain’ and how it affects India’s growth story … And was highly moved by the apathy of a section of people who just go away and forget about their duty towards the country. In my heart, I wanted to live in the country, do something for it, do my bit and not be the one who just moves away. It’s been about two decades since I decided against leaving the country to pursue my masters abroad, and when I look back at all these years, I think I have not been able to do anything spectacular for the country that I would have wanted. But, I have witnessed the country age through time all these years.

                I have seen two lane road convert into an 8 lane road, I have seen the advent of google maps to navigate through the city, I have moved from paying electricity bill at the counters to online transactions, I have witnessed the mobile revolution, I have witnessed the growth of Flipkart, I have seen the advent of McDonalds and Pizza huts, I am one of the guys who has seen Aadhar’s birth, there are just so many things that have transpired. There are changes everyday, for the good. Wait a second, what have I been doing all this time, when all the things were happening.

                The things have changed and will change.. I believe in the passion of the people of the country. But, do I believe in my own passion? Can I contribute in something spectacular? They say “Start by doing what’s necessary, then do what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible”. We expect the country to grow and develop, I believe at the same time – we should grow and develop self as well.

Add a new habit, new skill to yourself, keep striving. Keep doing it, who knows what might transpire. At the basic minimum, I do work 2 days in a week for the country, I do pay taxes.

The Desired Job

A job you do, defines you.

The first salary is always a cherished memory; the joy of the first step towards independence, the gifts for your near and dear ones, the happiness of family and friends, the result of all the hard work of all the academic years. The job means so much - the key to your need, greed, desire and happiness.

The professional life is like a tread mill. The belt is continuously moving and you are running. But, running with a purpose – in fact with all the purpose you have in your life. Your parents take pride in your achievements, your job – more or less – proves to be pivotal factor for forging your marriage, your children’s childhood and upbringing is driven by your profession. With so much tied up with the job, it’s hardly surprising that we choose to run tirelessly on this treadmill.

The pressures of life – peer pressure, livelihood pressure, lifestyle pressure – keep pushing you to strive for growth in the job. The ladder is in place and the height of the climb just doesn’t have enough rewards but also the responsibilities and of course a better, enchanting view. There is not much left to ask if you enjoy your job and as well, achieve the growth you want.

There are just handful of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk. They have rode the wave of time and been successful in giving out what the world wanted to have. The puzzle is really not that difficult – It’s ‘Give and Take’. The difficult part of the puzzle is ‘what and how’ of giving. The same principle applies for all the jobs; the trick is to be right about plenty of things. The courage, abilities, skills, knowledge, decisions – there is so much that goes into a success.

              It’s a very long professional life; some 3-4 decades of work to be put in. You might not have the same jest and excitement on the last day as you had on the first, but it should definitely be a day to remember fondly for the rest of your life. Be good at ‘giving’ and even better at ‘taking’ !!

A Perfect Marriage

A nutritionist definition of a perfect diet is along the lines of 50% protein, 25% carbohydrates and 25% fibers. Alas, there is no magic definition of a perfect marriage. We have lot of people who are health conscious, wealth minded and although we do not focus exclusively on marriage wellness, a considerable amount of energy is spent into molding our married lives.

                If you would remind yourself of days when you learnt riding a bicycle, you would probably fondly remember the childhood when you tried but could not balance a bicycle. And suddenly, in matter of few hours or few days, magically, you could balance the bicycle and ride and go around on the roads riding your new mate – your lovely bicycle. Now, if you would remind yourself of days when you were newly wed, you will have sweet sour memories of days when you were learning to balance the marriage. And if you come to the present, you will realize you are still trying your best to balance the marriage. Being in marriage is not like learning a bicycle, probably it is an art that can never be claimed to have been learnt.

                A perfect marriage can only be pursued, it can never be attained. Only the knowledge of sadness can help you relish the moments of joy. As life has ups and downs, sweetness and bitterness, toughness and happiness, so does a marriage has crying and laughing, fighting and caring, hating and loving. The moments where you can feel oneness of two souls are the ones worth your trying to balance out your marriage.

                   As I said previously – ‘A perfect marriage can only be pursued, it can never be attained.’ I think it is wise to just try to create as many ‘perfect moments’ as you can in your marriage and if you have enough memories of these ‘perfect moments’ to etch out your married life through thick and thin, you can proudly claim to have a ‘perfect marriage’. Here is wishing you a ‘perfect marriage’ !!