वो कागज़ की कश्ती, वो बारिश का पानी

We often come across people becoming nostalgic about childhood. It can be best summarized by the following song by Jagjit Singh:

ये दौलत भी ले लो, ये शौहरत भी ले लो,

भले छीन लो मुझसे मेरी जवानी,

मगर मुझको लौटा दो बचपन का सावन,

वो कागज़ की कश्ती, वो बारिश का पानी,

वो कागज़ की कश्ती, वो बारिश का पानी …..

Only if, there were a time machine.. but there isn’t one!

The realities and complexities of the world stare us in the face and we cozy ourselves up by the warm simplicities and sweet memories of the childhood; often wishing to re-live those old golden days.

Agreed, childhood was great. But, the next best time to childhood is right now, right here. The time we have on our hands is a chance, is an opportunity to create another ‘कागज़ की कश्ती’ and another ‘बारिश का पानी’ moment.

When we are getting frustrated and irritated by the situations, when we are overwhelmed by the realities and complexities of life, when we are realizing the frailties and shortcomings of luck, it is actually perfect time to relax, it is actually perfect time to understand that life just goes on, it is actually perfect time to assimilate the beauty around us.

This is way too easier said than done, but it is definitely worth a try. The world will continue to move, whether you fail or succeed, whether you live or die. Your failure mostly affects you or at most some small number of people, but the clock continues to tick and the world just continues to rotate and revolve. You might give yourself a better chance by being relaxed and trying out a few more things.

Remember, the time machine exists only in ‘Avengers – the end game’ and movies alike. Make the best use of time and see if you can have your cherished ‘वो कागज़ की कश्ती’ and ‘वो बारिश का पानी’ right now, right here !!

A new h...t

There are around 195 countries in the world – some are poor, some are rich, some are developed, some are developing and so on, so forth. Being in India, we love it when we achieve something substantial, as a country – be it an A-SAT test, be it Mars Orbiter Mission, be it an Indian cricket world cup win, be it an Oscar win, be it bullet train project, so on, so forth. We are a developing country and we cherish every positive step of development in the country.

As an Indian, I am a proud tax payer. If nothing else, I am doing the basic minimum by paying taxes and doing my bit in contributing to India’s story. As a teen, I heard of ‘brain drain’ and how it affects India’s growth story … And was highly moved by the apathy of a section of people who just go away and forget about their duty towards the country. In my heart, I wanted to live in the country, do something for it, do my bit and not be the one who just moves away. It’s been about two decades since I decided against leaving the country to pursue my masters abroad, and when I look back at all these years, I think I have not been able to do anything spectacular for the country that I would have wanted. But, I have witnessed the country age through time all these years.

                I have seen two lane road convert into an 8 lane road, I have seen the advent of google maps to navigate through the city, I have moved from paying electricity bill at the counters to online transactions, I have witnessed the mobile revolution, I have witnessed the growth of Flipkart, I have seen the advent of McDonalds and Pizza huts, I am one of the guys who has seen Aadhar’s birth, there are just so many things that have transpired. There are changes everyday, for the good. Wait a second, what have I been doing all this time, when all the things were happening.

                The things have changed and will change.. I believe in the passion of the people of the country. But, do I believe in my own passion? Can I contribute in something spectacular? They say “Start by doing what’s necessary, then do what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible”. We expect the country to grow and develop, I believe at the same time – we should grow and develop self as well.

Add a new habit, new skill to yourself, keep striving. Keep doing it, who knows what might transpire. At the basic minimum, I do work 2 days in a week for the country, I do pay taxes.

The Desired Job

A job you do, defines you.

The first salary is always a cherished memory; the joy of the first step towards independence, the gifts for your near and dear ones, the happiness of family and friends, the result of all the hard work of all the academic years. The job means so much - the key to your need, greed, desire and happiness.

The professional life is like a tread mill. The belt is continuously moving and you are running. But, running with a purpose – in fact with all the purpose you have in your life. Your parents take pride in your achievements, your job – more or less – proves to be pivotal factor for forging your marriage, your children’s childhood and upbringing is driven by your profession. With so much tied up with the job, it’s hardly surprising that we choose to run tirelessly on this treadmill.

The pressures of life – peer pressure, livelihood pressure, lifestyle pressure – keep pushing you to strive for growth in the job. The ladder is in place and the height of the climb just doesn’t have enough rewards but also the responsibilities and of course a better, enchanting view. There is not much left to ask if you enjoy your job and as well, achieve the growth you want.

There are just handful of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk. They have rode the wave of time and been successful in giving out what the world wanted to have. The puzzle is really not that difficult – It’s ‘Give and Take’. The difficult part of the puzzle is ‘what and how’ of giving. The same principle applies for all the jobs; the trick is to be right about plenty of things. The courage, abilities, skills, knowledge, decisions – there is so much that goes into a success.

              It’s a very long professional life; some 3-4 decades of work to be put in. You might not have the same jest and excitement on the last day as you had on the first, but it should definitely be a day to remember fondly for the rest of your life. Be good at ‘giving’ and even better at ‘taking’ !!

A Perfect Marriage

A nutritionist definition of a perfect diet is along the lines of 50% protein, 25% carbohydrates and 25% fibers. Alas, there is no magic definition of a perfect marriage. We have lot of people who are health conscious, wealth minded and although we do not focus exclusively on marriage wellness, a considerable amount of energy is spent into molding our married lives.

                If you would remind yourself of days when you learnt riding a bicycle, you would probably fondly remember the childhood when you tried but could not balance a bicycle. And suddenly, in matter of few hours or few days, magically, you could balance the bicycle and ride and go around on the roads riding your new mate – your lovely bicycle. Now, if you would remind yourself of days when you were newly wed, you will have sweet sour memories of days when you were learning to balance the marriage. And if you come to the present, you will realize you are still trying your best to balance the marriage. Being in marriage is not like learning a bicycle, probably it is an art that can never be claimed to have been learnt.

                A perfect marriage can only be pursued, it can never be attained. Only the knowledge of sadness can help you relish the moments of joy. As life has ups and downs, sweetness and bitterness, toughness and happiness, so does a marriage has crying and laughing, fighting and caring, hating and loving. The moments where you can feel oneness of two souls are the ones worth your trying to balance out your marriage.

                   As I said previously – ‘A perfect marriage can only be pursued, it can never be attained.’ I think it is wise to just try to create as many ‘perfect moments’ as you can in your marriage and if you have enough memories of these ‘perfect moments’ to etch out your married life through thick and thin, you can proudly claim to have a ‘perfect marriage’. Here is wishing you a ‘perfect marriage’ !!

Being with friends

Comparing the act of giving with the act of taking is a bit tricky. You of course gain by taking, but you might gain by giving as well. And if you believe that you gain immensely by the act of giving, welcome to the world of friends. Giving out a smile, giving out some beautiful words, giving out a kind gesture, giving a little help is all it takes …

Friends make us grow. The act of giving entails the act of taking. For somebody to take, somebody has to give. The mutuality of belief in giving is what can forge the bonds of friendship and the act of giving and receiving is what can set the ball in motion. Careful analysis, planning, execution is more of a professional concept, while friend zone is more about being impetuous, being instinctive and at the same time, knowing what is good and what will be beneficial. The best part of friends is they will make you grow, just through some random act of bonhomie.

The necessity of friends is primordial but just gets lost sometimes in the world of pressures and stresses, where we are all out to make a living for ourselves and just end up drowning ourselves in the waves of competition. If we have more competitors than friends, we are assured of growth, but if we manage to have more friends in our lives, we are assured a piece of peace and harmony. As we move higher and higher in the hierarchy, lesser and lesser becomes the friends circle. Friends simply seem to phase out of our daily lives and we have the world of peers, juniors, seniors and bosses all around us. All we need, in reality, is just friends.

 
            The joy of an unselfish act of goodness cannot be measured. The more the friends around, the more the positivity and the more shining the light around appears. Strive to be a friend and the world smiles back !!

Three Innings : Do you look forward to the sunrise?

I think I can roughly divide a day in three innings – the start of the day, the day, the end of the day. And the cycle repeats all over again. The question is ‘Do you look forward to the sunrise?’. Honestly, I don’t. I get up, get ready for the work, work throughout the day and spend the rest of the evening at home doing yoga and some family time. But, do I look forward to any part of the day – Well, I guess ‘It’s a No’. Making it very clear - I enjoy it, definitely do; but I don’t look forward to it, I never have. I have never and I don’t yearn yet to look at the sunrise.

Taking the analogy a step forward – our life can be divided in three innings : readying yourself for the job, the mid-life of doing the job and the final post-job innings. And the same question - do I look forward to any particular inning? Well, I guess ‘It’s a No’. Making it very clear – I enjoy it, I definitely do; but I don’t look forward to it, I never have. It’s time to look forward to the sunrise, the day, the sunset and the night.

I am probably at noon of my life and what will it mean to look forward to the next inning? I am deeply thinking about retirement planning – makes me feel as if my third inning is more of an unwinding part of the day and this doesn’t make me look forward to it. What would make me look forward to the post noon, the sunset, the evening, the night and to the very enthralling and ensuing, next sunrise. A sunrise should not start in the bedroom, the noon in the stress, the sunset in your car and there shouldn’t be a tired evening and definitely not, should be a disturbed night. The irony is ‘how do we look forward to sunrise?’ is not a difficult one to answer but it just doesn’t get asked and subsequently, is probably not going to be answered.

         The energy in your life is what will make you tick. It takes a lot to live life positively, to create positive experiences and simply, being positive is a whole different ball game. Welcoming sunrise is the next step, but if so less people are able to do it, then hopefully it doesn’t turn out to be difficult than anticipated !

Was it worth?

As I take a pause and go about writing another blog, I have a question. Was it worth writing all the blogs I have been writing and bombarding the mail boxes?

The topics ranged from the north pole to the south pole. It started from writing articles and emailing. Now, I have converted all my writings to blogs. I got feedback, comments, appreciations, a little bit of peace of mind plus I can call myself a blogger now. Having said all of this, I still wonder was it worth it?

Thinking more on these lines, although I am thinking ‘Has the past 6 months of blogging been worth it?’, I am realizing I don’t question/analyze the worth of my time, my life. Starting the blog has really been a chance event and it has made me ask myself ‘Has my life been worth it?’ – It’s turning out to be an interesting blog. May be it’s worth it.

It makes me question – have I made some difference or have I just lived my life, centered around me, my needs, my problems, my wishes and my desires. It makes me think will I make some difference moving ahead or will it be centered around me, my needs, my problems, my wishes and my desires.

                My blogging has been worth it, if it made you think positively a bit, if it made a tiny difference in your mindset, if it made you live differently, may be even just for few moments. It would have done it’s purpose. Questioning the worth of life is entirely different ball game. Some say to evaluate your ‘circle of influence’. It looks like it is much tougher to have a life which is worth it.

                I honestly don’t know what I have been doing and what purpose I intend to fulfil. What will be the appraisal of my life, right now and at the end of my life. Am I just doing my profession and trying to find ways to live a comfortable and happy personal life? It doesn’t feel to be worth it.. probably leaving aside just my family. I am not sure how many people desire my company and how many will miss my company if they are not going to have it any further. I am not sure if I am making much of a difference to quite a few. It’s an open question and sadly, the answer that I am hearing back inside me is not a soothing one. But, yes.. I know people have helped me and are helping me grow into something of a better being and I hope I can make some difference out there and be missed, whenever I will be no longer accessible.

                May be, it will be worth it !!