When you are down

 Life is full of ups and downs, usually interlaced with long normals; this blog is about being down.

Sometimes, the downs are longer and stronger - to the point where it can be unbearable. The pain, the negativity, the loss, the failure, the difficulty, the problem; well, it’s just overwhelming. The world around you seems to collapse, everything becomes pitch dark. Not everybody goes through this and the ones who do, know how depressing it can be. You can feel quite alone, right in the midst of all the people around you.

All of what is mentioned above is closely related to a person’s thought process and psyche. The person might feel lost, might feel broken and here is what is important for the person - the grit, the strength, the resilience, the attitude, the fighting spirit. It is very easy to give up in difficult circumstances, but not many realize it is equally easy to pick yourself up and say ‘No’ to giving up. All you need is a little bit of courage, a little bit of support, a little bit of care, a little bit of love, a little bit of tenacity and a lot of “no to giving up”. The more you say “No” to giving up, the easier it is to bounce back. Probably, just ask a simple question to yourself - “How can I just give up and not fight it out?”.

The life we get is a blessing and it is important to realize the gift, the opportunity we get in the form of time at our disposal. It’s not the end of the world and there are thousand things that can be done - it just needs a bit of application, a bit of discipline, a bit of guidance, a bit of perseverance, in short, a lot of belief, a lot of motivation and a lot of drive.

Be the light that someone needs to see at the end of the tunnel and you would have helped someone overcome “being down”.

Being happy

This blog is an attempt to find the what, why and how of  "Being Happy"....

What is Happiness?

Well, I can't define what is this "happy feeling", it's just something to be felt.. 

At one point of time or other, we all have been happy ... we can't deny how good it feels "Being Happy". It's just awesome to be happy..

It's a positive space, which is a cherished time, a memorable experience, something to cling to..

Why be Happy?

I think Happiness is probably an outcome - an outcome of achievement, good luck, an event, a positive experience, a random act of goodness, etc..

I can't be 'just happy' all the times - I have a default state of mind, and then there are variations in it like happiness, sadness, irritation, frustration, anger, fear, comfort, discomfort, stressed, elated and likewise..

The feelings like sadness, frustration, irritation, anger, fear, stress make us feel bad/negative; our behaviour and actions tend to be in problematic zone.

This is the beauty of happiness; We feel good when happy; our behaviour and actions tend to be in friendlier and constructive zone.

How to be happy?

This section of the blog is what I intend to have as a learning for me as well...

• First of all, we have to know ourself - what we want and then, go about fulfilling it. The journey to the fulfilment is as important, if not more, as the fulfilment itself in terms of the aspect of "Being happy". We should celebrate/enjoy the journey as much as the fulfilment itself.
• We should understand the value of what we have. More importantly, we should be thankful and grateful for what we have. What is normal for us might be luxury for many others.
• We should learn to forgive - ourselves as well as others. In forgiveness, lies the power of healing.
• Happiness increases by spreading - try to give and receive happiness.
• The most difficult times are the ones of difficulties and sadness - try to understand and imbibe that time doesn't remain the same - there are going to be difficulties and struggles in life - faith might be of lot of help here. Happiness can be just around the corner.
• Be ready to help and also, open to taking help. We can help each other and good relations create positive vibes.

As conclusion, "practice makes a man perfect" - so, just "practice to be happy". There is another saying "Nobody is perfect" - so, may be we can never be perfectly happy ... 

All the best for "Being happy" !!

Open to mistakes or just avoid them

Mistakes are a reality, they happen, no doubt about it; but they bring with them a penalty and there are no two opinions about it as well.

The billion dollar question is whether we should "be open to mistakes and learn from them" or "just try to avoid mistakes".

The significance of the question is, implications of embracing any of the approach. Here, it is important to acknowledge that it's just not an action that can be a mistake, but an act of inaction can be an equally significant mistake.

I think the 3 words are highly interrelated - risks, experiments and mistakes. There are times when you know that a particular action is a definite mistake, there are times when you know that a particular action can turn out to be a mistake or may be not (that's a risk), there are times you have no clue if an act is a mistake or not (that's an experiment) and then, there are times when you just know it's not a mistake and it turns out to be a mistake (well, that's just a mistake).

If we have an approach of "just avoid mistakes", essentially we are saying that we are not open to risks and experiments and if we have an approach of "open to mistakes", then we might just develop an attitude of casualness.

A very important aspect here is to understand the "scale of the penalty" and "impact zone" of a mistake. It is quite important to evaluate our actions and categorise them as risk/no-risk or experiments and also analyse the scale of penalty or gain that they might bring, which basically means that we should know/understand the situation really well.

There are multiple sayings around this aspect which you might have heard - "Stay hungry, Stay foolish", "Fail fast", "Learn from other's mistakes", etc. I just wish that people understand the nuances of mistakes and the different approaches, at least I wish that i understood them way earlier than now. 

It's still for an individual to ponder over this and understand the implications of the approaches, risk, experiment and mistakes.

After a bit of thought and some experience of life, I think I will recommend the below:

Understand the situation/circumstances, size up the scale of gain/penalty and impact zone, definitely avoid mistakes if they can be catastrophic. Else, it's upto an individual to evaluate and decide whether or not to risk or experiment. But, definitely keep taking actions.

My personal journey, so far, has been to gradually move from "not understanding the situation" to be able to identify and undergo "risk" and "experiment" - resulting in severe penalties, at times and healthy gains, few other times. I think this blog might make me more aware about my actions and more keen/watchful about my approach towards "risks, experiments and mistakes".

I just hope somebody reading the blog benefits from this. Just understand, there is no "Ctrl + Z" in life.

Problems, Difficulties and Challenges

Success is a tree whose roots lie in problems, difficulties, challenges and so does failure’s.  A person’s present and future depends on how he approaches the problems, difficulties and challenges that come along the way. A person is born with a lot of constraints and at the same time, a person is born with a lot of opportunities. The failure in acknowledging the constraints and the success in identifying the opportunities can be a good platform for a positive mindset. Nobody doubts what a positive frame of mind can achieve.

So much for the positive frame of mind.. But what about the realities and practicalities of the problems, difficulties and challenges? Yes, constraints do exist and they have multiple aspects .. it will probably be foolish, if not bizzare, for any person to set out on an attempt to break Usain Bolt’s 100m world record. The abilities, potential, self-belief, confidence, patience, perseverance, knowledge, skills and so many such aspects come into play. But, quite necessary (not sufficient though) is the “desire” to do something that can help a person take on the problems, difficulties, challenges and take him beyond the finish line.

What you sow, is what you reap - so, the desires you nourish will define your success, failure, happiness, sadness, frustrations, calmness and so on. While having the mindset of problem solving, facing the difficulties and accepting the challenges is key to growth, it is much more important to have the desire for the right set of problems, difficulties and challenges for yourself.

To end this blog with some help/best practices, following are some hints for better handling of problems, difficulties and challenges:

• Believe in yourself - Equip yourself with right tools; prepare/arm yourself with knowledge, skills and self-belief.
• It can become stressful at times, find someone to talk to/team up with.
• Failures are a part of life - You might not succeed at everything; learn to accept failures gracefully.
• Look at life as an opportunity - embrace problems, difficulties and challenges.
• In the face of difficulty, it can be difficult to put up your best face - try to cultivate positive mindset.
• Time does not always remain same, there are ups and downs in life. Utilise the good times well so that you are better prepared for the 'not so good' times.

Quality of Life and what to expect from life...

My last blog was "Life's Best Practices" and while I was thinking what should be my next one, I thought it will be good for me to define what can be the parameters of a "quality life" as far as I am concerned.

Before I proceed further, I would recommend a book "Thinking, Fast and Slow", by Daniel Kahneman (a nobel laureate) and from what I have read so far, which is very initial, preliminary reading, will have a profound impact on this particular blog.

Without getting too much into the details of the book, I would paraphrase an important concept of the book, which is "We are driven more by our impressions and feelings (Thinking Fast) that plays critical role in shaping our thoughts and intellect (Thinking Slow)". While I am not sure If I am well qualified to opine on this, but I do concur with the concept to a large extent. At a given point of time, what I am gauging is "Am I feeling good, Am I feeling bad, Am I happy, Am I sad, Do I like this, Do I not like this, Am I satisfied, What do I want, What do I not want, so on and so forth..." . Based on this, I would like to have a very simple definition of quality of life - "Am I feeling good or happy about life?". If the answer to this question is yes, then I am having a 'good' life.. if the answer to this question is no, then I am *not* having a 'good' life.

Before you jump on and try to judge this simplistic, minimalistic definition (which again is a function of 'Thinking Fast' system), I will acknowledge that every person is different and has different expectations, aspirations and definitions of a 'good' life and a term like 'quality of life' categorically demands a more holistic and deeper definition, but which I think is subjective for every individual and upto an them to define in a broader and narrower context.

Probably, a good indicator of your definition of what is a 'good' life is to think about the attributes of your good, potential spouse (if you are yet to marry) or go back to the time of defining the attributes of your good, potential spouse (if you are already married) [Note: This might not be applicable to people who found perfect love in their teens :-) , which some of my friends have, but still can be a good hint for defining a 'good' quality life]. For me, I was interested in looking at following parameters when I was doing my match making:

• Education
• Profession
• Personality
• Family background (read religion, caste, financial status, upbringing, etc)
• Potential
• Behavioural compatibility

While the above is a decent indicator of what I would include in the parameters of 'quality of life', it is only a subset of it and the other part of the parameters is attributed to what more I think I need to 'feel' good or happy about my life. I would like to quote one of other concept from the 'Thinking, Fast and Slow', which is 'We have excessive confidence in what we believe we know and apparent tendency to not acknowledge the extent of our ignorance and uncertainty in the world'. While again I am not sure if I am well qualified to opine on this, but I concur with this as well to a large extent. The first step to defining 'your' quality of life is to know yourself well and define 'what you want' a.k.a what will make you feel good/happy. The interesting part the book plays here is to bring out that 'We have excessive confidence in knowing what we want or what will make us feel good/happy and the apparent tendency to not acknowledge the ignorance we have to '*not*' know what we really want. 

One thing I have learnt is that 'Life is like a tread mill, you just have to keep running....'. 

From my perspective, I think I do have enough in my life to qualify for a 'good' quality of life, but I also think I have good, strong reasons to still believe that I do not have enough, to call my life as 'good'/'happy' life. What I realise is, life has thrown so much at me that I understand, rather know, that life is quite uncertain (which i don't know is good or bad).

Well, I can go on writing for a little longer, but I will like to keep the post short enough and end it with saying "While the life is definitely uncertain and we are quite ignorant as well, we still have to go about living it by planning/strategising and experiencing it."

 (Just to keep you interested in the book 'Thinking, Fast and slow', it mentions something about an 'experiencing self' and 'remembering self' and how they play a part in our lives :-) .... )

Life’s Best Practices :)

Life is a sequence of time and events, and it is more about what you do to it than what it does to you. While everyone’s circumstances are different and there is no magic wand or magic potion to help you sail through life, I think it makes sense to analyze what works best in it. This is an attempt to pen down some best practices I have found in my life...

Do the right thing(s) !

Your success does not depend on working hard, it depends on doing the right thing(s). Working hard might be one of the right things, at times. Just like it is important to do the right things, it is important not to do the ‘not right’ things. Invest and spend your time to find what is right in circumstances and different phases of life, and go about doing it. Defining ‘right’ is subjective to each individual and sometimes there might not be ‘the’ right thing and decision making comes to the fore here.

Find Good Mentors, and/but take your own decisions !

It's said “A picture is worth a 1000 words” and I would say “A good mentor is worth a 1000 friends”. Your first mentors are you parents, then the teachers and as your life progresses, you find less mentors when you are supposed to take up more responsibilities and handle more complexities. A good mentor can be the guiding light at different phases of life but remember that the path has to be traversed by you and it is very important to take own decisions and keep learning/growing along the way.

Invest in yourself - take responsibilities and keep learning !

The best investment that can happen is an investment in self. There are various ways to invest in self - like trainings, networking, reading and most importantly, taking up responsibility. It is important to have a positive frame of mind, believing in self and persist with learning and gaining expertise. Knowledge and skills should pay handsomely, in the long run.

Focus on health !

I think ‘Health should be considered as wealth’, which actually it is. It is highly advisable to focus on health - regular exercise, good sleep, right nutrition, managing stress, etc are all key ingredients to healthy living.

Give sufficient time and enjoyment to family !

Life feels longer when difficult and shorter when merry. It is important to have everything balanced, more so when it comes to Work-Life balance. The people who care for you the most are your family. Give sufficient time, care and love to family, take vacations, do enough leisure activities with them - Family is who cares the most for you.

Make lasting friendships/relationships !

Relationship is a two way street: While someone can be of help to you, there is immense happiness in being able to help someone out. It is not just about give and take; and a good company can be much more rewarding when it inspires and motivates ! 

Cultivate hobbies and follow interests !

While it is a lot about investments and returns in life, you should find time to cultivate some hobbies and follow your interests. A happy moment or a pleasant memory can help you survive some tough ones. You should be able to create enough fun in your life that helps you stay blessed.

VIVID(Broadway) show @ Berlin

Back in 2003, I went to UK as a rookie and was astonished and amazed with lot many things like cleanliness, Bus with GPS updates, 7-level underground metro/tubes, super trains, palaces, google maps, nightlife and so many other things.

Since then I have been at many foreign countries and have also experienced the changing India; and have not been astonished much in a very big sense. The cleanliness of the foreign still makes me awed, but i don’t miss much otherwise in India as such.

Yesterday, I was quite astonished and amazed… well, by a theatrical display - something called VIVID(Broadway) show at “Friedrichstadt-Palast Berlin”. It is difficult to describe it in words.. I won’t say it is a must watch but if you do happen to watch it - extravagance is an understatement for it, mesmerizing also probably might be an understatement, elegant definitely.. It was different.. Nothing close to what i have witnessed.. It was simply impossible to not clap and whistle. I will take a go at describing it, but I am afraid I will fall way short of it…

The show was a combination of live music, live dance, live singing, acrobatics, aerial acrobatics,  acro-dynamics(i have coined this term; don’t know how else to define what is saw) , fireworks, laser show, vivid mesmerizing colourful lights, extravagant costumes, animations, human-animation interaction, some live painting projected on a huge screen, it was definitely dangerously breath-taking for some of the artists, and all glued together as a light touching story. They even included one of the spectators in stage performance for 10 minutes.

We were in a huge auditorium .. may be 1000 people or more, at the top row to give a beautiful overview vision. The stage was magnificent podium.. And it was truly dynamic - black, semi-circular, around 40-50 meters wide and there was hardly anything that was not moving - it had rotation, it went up and down, it was broken into small/big sections which opened and people and instruments and ropes went inside it and came out.. There was a huge circular stage part in the middle of it .. which could be pivoted up to be used as digital display for projections.. There was a curtain for animation projection and at the back, there were live musicians.. The stage had an extension to first floor gallery where musicians, dancers and actors performed as well.

You can watch the trailer at this URL https://www.palast.berlin/en/.

The best part of it was, that at the end, it did not feel like a punch in your face.. It was simply soft, elegant and beautiful. It is something to be witnessed and experienced..

Beautiful...

It’s been ages that I am used to being called ‘Swaroop’ and it has never been hurting or pleasure-some. Well, it’s just my name. 

This week, I am in berlin and in a room with around 10 people, the client CTO (while practicing everybody’s name) said “Swaroop” is beautiful; such a beautiful name; I will remember it.

I have never thought, heard or expected anybody to say my name is “beautiful”.. Well, I don’t know what is beautiful in it, neither do I feel any beauty in it as such.. nor do I expect to ever hear this again.. 

But, it just surprised me and that memory is beautiful !

While I am pondering over this, I realize the beauty is not in the compliment, the beauty is of the person to say such a beautiful thing .. I have met so many people, heard so many names, but probably never have I complimented anybody for their name.. neither I have been complimented ever for my name … keep aside so much grace and beauty.

After all, my name is just another name !

Moving on, I found Berlin beautiful - though I have not been able to do sightseeing at all due to the worsening of my back problem.. I could find a lot of greenery here, there’s cleanliness, the buildings and architecture is beautiful, the public transport is great and the people have been very kind and generous with sharing of knowledge .. with their funny bones at display whole lot of times.. The uber drivers always wish “Have a good day.. have a good evening..”. Feels great, just coz I didn’t expect from them...

Apart from everything, for the first time - I found the crows to be beautiful.. Crows were not black.. But quite colorful.. Black head and beaks, but colorful feathers… 

All in all, a lot of beauty witnessed.. 

A beautiful world awaits inside

The modern life has brought upon a lot of pressure, stress, irritation and frustration in our lives. We are part of a generation that wants to grow in life, be it at any cost. I asked a question to my mother and mother-in-law : “What are the three most important things in life as per your experience of life?” at different times at different places and surprisingly, I got the same answer from both of them - “Food, Shelter and Clothes”. And I was thinking am I missing something, is that all about life - the most important things? The answer was staring me in my face - the times have changed and the pursuits of life have changed. And then I was again thinking, may be “food, shelter and clothes” are the most important things for a lot of people today as well, it’s just not for me.

There are a lot of important things, but the three most important things, as per my experiences are “people, money and health'', not necessarily in that order. The fact that I never had to struggle for either of food, shelter or clothes, doesn’t make me list them as important but since money can take care of not only each of those, but a lot of other necessities and luxuries as well, it is quite important.  Each of these entities are independent - people cannot provide for money and health, money cannot provide for people and health and health cannot provide for people and money.

At the end of the day, we want to be happy, content and satisfied. The entire life we spend running around is about satiating our needs, wishes, desires and greed. The realization of “important to me” is a mere tip of the iceberg and the whole world inside us awaits for our attention. The external behavior is just a small reflection of what lies inside us, our intrinsic world. The positivities and negativities are deeply ingrained into us and it can be quite challenging to understand and realize our intrinsic behavior. A person is the sum total of energy, feelings, emotions, thoughts, intelligence and our physical body. A beautiful world awaits to be created inside us, that which not only makes ourselves happy, content and satisfied but probably a few more souls around us can also benefit from it. It is probably just about understanding the importance of things !

x

Being lucky….

You should not be unlucky.. But, I guess, neither should you be a lucky chap. 

Luck is a cryptic word .. and I guess, it will continue to be so. In my personal life, I have seen people lose their lives in accidents, I have seen people lose a limb out of misfortune, I have seen people bear the brunt of extreme illness.. it can be absolutely shocking and extremely painful. Pray to god, we don’t end up on the wrong side of the luck.. It can just wipe us out !

On the other side, in my personal life, I haven’t seen people being lucky on similar magnitude as compared to the misfortunes I have witnessed. I guess it is a natural phenomenon to not have such a quantum of luck on your side. I have seen people move out of poverty, I have seen people get good jobs, I have seen people get promoted to good profiles, I have seen people start their companies.. But all of this, it has been slow and has been through their talent and efforts. I believe this is a good thing - to not be a lucky chap, to deserve what you have got, to have worked for your achievements. 

May be, it really takes a stroke of magic to be extremely lucky - to be somebody like M.S. Dhoni to have won a T20I world cup and ODI world cup as well. Nobody calls Steve Waugh’s or Ricky Ponting’s Australian team to be lucky, they were such a great team, played so well, they just deserved it. It is not out of luck, but out of talent, effort and attitude, should you be in possession of something.

Having said the above and not in a position to comprehend the luck enough, I guess, it is unfair to not attribute your talent and attitude to luck as well. We are born with attributes in a certain environment to certain people and this is the biggest piece of magic, the biggest piece of luck that I have seen in my personal life - to be born the person we are - the behavior, the environment, the aspirations, the constraints.. which is not so easy to comprehend or explain - perhaps of the same magnitude of the misfortunes I have witnessed. Perhaps, we are bound to be lucky or unlucky, whether we like or not !

x

Give yourself time…to want more

The more you want, the more you will try.

Dreams are a dime a dozen. it's their execution that counts.

• Theodore Roosevelt

Having a dream doesn’t guarantee its fulfilment. The efforts, the circumstances, the abilities, the luck all play their due part. Having acknowledged the different forces at interplay, we should understand the connected successes and failures influences - a toll on your psyche,  a toll on your thoughts, a toll on your behavior, a toll on your attitude. Success can make you content and failure can burn you out. Most of all, it takes a toll on what you want.

There is no end to desires, and people say the way to be happy is “limiting your desires”. May be, but then, you might limit your achievements as well. Much like a balanced diet, a balanced life is quintessential. The term ‘balanced’ is the tricky, the subjective aspect of the life. Even more tricky is you might not know if it is balanced or not, till it does becomes unbalanced.

What you want is what you can get. The quality of desire will decide the pursuit and the destinations. Give yourself time.. to ignite the wants, to want more, to want better. Try to have balanced desires but definitely keep wanting more.. more challenges, more relaxation, more learning, more achievements.. just, so much more.

वो कागज़ की कश्ती, वो बारिश का पानी

We often come across people becoming nostalgic about childhood. It can be best summarized by the following song by Jagjit Singh:

ये दौलत भी ले लो, ये शौहरत भी ले लो,

भले छीन लो मुझसे मेरी जवानी,

मगर मुझको लौटा दो बचपन का सावन,

वो कागज़ की कश्ती, वो बारिश का पानी,

वो कागज़ की कश्ती, वो बारिश का पानी …..

Only if, there were a time machine.. but there isn’t one!

The realities and complexities of the world stare us in the face and we cozy ourselves up by the warm simplicities and sweet memories of the childhood; often wishing to re-live those old golden days.

Agreed, childhood was great. But, the next best time to childhood is right now, right here. The time we have on our hands is a chance, is an opportunity to create another ‘कागज़ की कश्ती’ and another ‘बारिश का पानी’ moment.

When we are getting frustrated and irritated by the situations, when we are overwhelmed by the realities and complexities of life, when we are realizing the frailties and shortcomings of luck, it is actually perfect time to relax, it is actually perfect time to understand that life just goes on, it is actually perfect time to assimilate the beauty around us.

This is way too easier said than done, but it is definitely worth a try. The world will continue to move, whether you fail or succeed, whether you live or die. Your failure mostly affects you or at most some small number of people, but the clock continues to tick and the world just continues to rotate and revolve. You might give yourself a better chance by being relaxed and trying out a few more things.

Remember, the time machine exists only in ‘Avengers – the end game’ and movies alike. Make the best use of time and see if you can have your cherished ‘वो कागज़ की कश्ती’ and ‘वो बारिश का पानी’ right now, right here !!

A new h...t

There are around 195 countries in the world – some are poor, some are rich, some are developed, some are developing and so on, so forth. Being in India, we love it when we achieve something substantial, as a country – be it an A-SAT test, be it Mars Orbiter Mission, be it an Indian cricket world cup win, be it an Oscar win, be it bullet train project, so on, so forth. We are a developing country and we cherish every positive step of development in the country.

As an Indian, I am a proud tax payer. If nothing else, I am doing the basic minimum by paying taxes and doing my bit in contributing to India’s story. As a teen, I heard of ‘brain drain’ and how it affects India’s growth story … And was highly moved by the apathy of a section of people who just go away and forget about their duty towards the country. In my heart, I wanted to live in the country, do something for it, do my bit and not be the one who just moves away. It’s been about two decades since I decided against leaving the country to pursue my masters abroad, and when I look back at all these years, I think I have not been able to do anything spectacular for the country that I would have wanted. But, I have witnessed the country age through time all these years.

                I have seen two lane road convert into an 8 lane road, I have seen the advent of google maps to navigate through the city, I have moved from paying electricity bill at the counters to online transactions, I have witnessed the mobile revolution, I have witnessed the growth of Flipkart, I have seen the advent of McDonalds and Pizza huts, I am one of the guys who has seen Aadhar’s birth, there are just so many things that have transpired. There are changes everyday, for the good. Wait a second, what have I been doing all this time, when all the things were happening.

                The things have changed and will change.. I believe in the passion of the people of the country. But, do I believe in my own passion? Can I contribute in something spectacular? They say “Start by doing what’s necessary, then do what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible”. We expect the country to grow and develop, I believe at the same time – we should grow and develop self as well.

Add a new habit, new skill to yourself, keep striving. Keep doing it, who knows what might transpire. At the basic minimum, I do work 2 days in a week for the country, I do pay taxes.

The Desired Job

A job you do, defines you.

The first salary is always a cherished memory; the joy of the first step towards independence, the gifts for your near and dear ones, the happiness of family and friends, the result of all the hard work of all the academic years. The job means so much - the key to your need, greed, desire and happiness.

The professional life is like a tread mill. The belt is continuously moving and you are running. But, running with a purpose – in fact with all the purpose you have in your life. Your parents take pride in your achievements, your job – more or less – proves to be pivotal factor for forging your marriage, your children’s childhood and upbringing is driven by your profession. With so much tied up with the job, it’s hardly surprising that we choose to run tirelessly on this treadmill.

The pressures of life – peer pressure, livelihood pressure, lifestyle pressure – keep pushing you to strive for growth in the job. The ladder is in place and the height of the climb just doesn’t have enough rewards but also the responsibilities and of course a better, enchanting view. There is not much left to ask if you enjoy your job and as well, achieve the growth you want.

There are just handful of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk. They have rode the wave of time and been successful in giving out what the world wanted to have. The puzzle is really not that difficult – It’s ‘Give and Take’. The difficult part of the puzzle is ‘what and how’ of giving. The same principle applies for all the jobs; the trick is to be right about plenty of things. The courage, abilities, skills, knowledge, decisions – there is so much that goes into a success.

              It’s a very long professional life; some 3-4 decades of work to be put in. You might not have the same jest and excitement on the last day as you had on the first, but it should definitely be a day to remember fondly for the rest of your life. Be good at ‘giving’ and even better at ‘taking’ !!

A Perfect Marriage

A nutritionist definition of a perfect diet is along the lines of 50% protein, 25% carbohydrates and 25% fibers. Alas, there is no magic definition of a perfect marriage. We have lot of people who are health conscious, wealth minded and although we do not focus exclusively on marriage wellness, a considerable amount of energy is spent into molding our married lives.

                If you would remind yourself of days when you learnt riding a bicycle, you would probably fondly remember the childhood when you tried but could not balance a bicycle. And suddenly, in matter of few hours or few days, magically, you could balance the bicycle and ride and go around on the roads riding your new mate – your lovely bicycle. Now, if you would remind yourself of days when you were newly wed, you will have sweet sour memories of days when you were learning to balance the marriage. And if you come to the present, you will realize you are still trying your best to balance the marriage. Being in marriage is not like learning a bicycle, probably it is an art that can never be claimed to have been learnt.

                A perfect marriage can only be pursued, it can never be attained. Only the knowledge of sadness can help you relish the moments of joy. As life has ups and downs, sweetness and bitterness, toughness and happiness, so does a marriage has crying and laughing, fighting and caring, hating and loving. The moments where you can feel oneness of two souls are the ones worth your trying to balance out your marriage.

                   As I said previously – ‘A perfect marriage can only be pursued, it can never be attained.’ I think it is wise to just try to create as many ‘perfect moments’ as you can in your marriage and if you have enough memories of these ‘perfect moments’ to etch out your married life through thick and thin, you can proudly claim to have a ‘perfect marriage’. Here is wishing you a ‘perfect marriage’ !!

Being with friends

Comparing the act of giving with the act of taking is a bit tricky. You of course gain by taking, but you might gain by giving as well. And if you believe that you gain immensely by the act of giving, welcome to the world of friends. Giving out a smile, giving out some beautiful words, giving out a kind gesture, giving a little help is all it takes …

Friends make us grow. The act of giving entails the act of taking. For somebody to take, somebody has to give. The mutuality of belief in giving is what can forge the bonds of friendship and the act of giving and receiving is what can set the ball in motion. Careful analysis, planning, execution is more of a professional concept, while friend zone is more about being impetuous, being instinctive and at the same time, knowing what is good and what will be beneficial. The best part of friends is they will make you grow, just through some random act of bonhomie.

The necessity of friends is primordial but just gets lost sometimes in the world of pressures and stresses, where we are all out to make a living for ourselves and just end up drowning ourselves in the waves of competition. If we have more competitors than friends, we are assured of growth, but if we manage to have more friends in our lives, we are assured a piece of peace and harmony. As we move higher and higher in the hierarchy, lesser and lesser becomes the friends circle. Friends simply seem to phase out of our daily lives and we have the world of peers, juniors, seniors and bosses all around us. All we need, in reality, is just friends.

 
            The joy of an unselfish act of goodness cannot be measured. The more the friends around, the more the positivity and the more shining the light around appears. Strive to be a friend and the world smiles back !!

Three Innings : Do you look forward to the sunrise?

I think I can roughly divide a day in three innings – the start of the day, the day, the end of the day. And the cycle repeats all over again. The question is ‘Do you look forward to the sunrise?’. Honestly, I don’t. I get up, get ready for the work, work throughout the day and spend the rest of the evening at home doing yoga and some family time. But, do I look forward to any part of the day – Well, I guess ‘It’s a No’. Making it very clear - I enjoy it, definitely do; but I don’t look forward to it, I never have. I have never and I don’t yearn yet to look at the sunrise.

Taking the analogy a step forward – our life can be divided in three innings : readying yourself for the job, the mid-life of doing the job and the final post-job innings. And the same question - do I look forward to any particular inning? Well, I guess ‘It’s a No’. Making it very clear – I enjoy it, I definitely do; but I don’t look forward to it, I never have. It’s time to look forward to the sunrise, the day, the sunset and the night.

I am probably at noon of my life and what will it mean to look forward to the next inning? I am deeply thinking about retirement planning – makes me feel as if my third inning is more of an unwinding part of the day and this doesn’t make me look forward to it. What would make me look forward to the post noon, the sunset, the evening, the night and to the very enthralling and ensuing, next sunrise. A sunrise should not start in the bedroom, the noon in the stress, the sunset in your car and there shouldn’t be a tired evening and definitely not, should be a disturbed night. The irony is ‘how do we look forward to sunrise?’ is not a difficult one to answer but it just doesn’t get asked and subsequently, is probably not going to be answered.

         The energy in your life is what will make you tick. It takes a lot to live life positively, to create positive experiences and simply, being positive is a whole different ball game. Welcoming sunrise is the next step, but if so less people are able to do it, then hopefully it doesn’t turn out to be difficult than anticipated !

Was it worth?

As I take a pause and go about writing another blog, I have a question. Was it worth writing all the blogs I have been writing and bombarding the mail boxes?

The topics ranged from the north pole to the south pole. It started from writing articles and emailing. Now, I have converted all my writings to blogs. I got feedback, comments, appreciations, a little bit of peace of mind plus I can call myself a blogger now. Having said all of this, I still wonder was it worth it?

Thinking more on these lines, although I am thinking ‘Has the past 6 months of blogging been worth it?’, I am realizing I don’t question/analyze the worth of my time, my life. Starting the blog has really been a chance event and it has made me ask myself ‘Has my life been worth it?’ – It’s turning out to be an interesting blog. May be it’s worth it.

It makes me question – have I made some difference or have I just lived my life, centered around me, my needs, my problems, my wishes and my desires. It makes me think will I make some difference moving ahead or will it be centered around me, my needs, my problems, my wishes and my desires.

                My blogging has been worth it, if it made you think positively a bit, if it made a tiny difference in your mindset, if it made you live differently, may be even just for few moments. It would have done it’s purpose. Questioning the worth of life is entirely different ball game. Some say to evaluate your ‘circle of influence’. It looks like it is much tougher to have a life which is worth it.

                I honestly don’t know what I have been doing and what purpose I intend to fulfil. What will be the appraisal of my life, right now and at the end of my life. Am I just doing my profession and trying to find ways to live a comfortable and happy personal life? It doesn’t feel to be worth it.. probably leaving aside just my family. I am not sure how many people desire my company and how many will miss my company if they are not going to have it any further. I am not sure if I am making much of a difference to quite a few. It’s an open question and sadly, the answer that I am hearing back inside me is not a soothing one. But, yes.. I know people have helped me and are helping me grow into something of a better being and I hope I can make some difference out there and be missed, whenever I will be no longer accessible.

                May be, it will be worth it !!

People, Finances and Growing

Diwali is just going by and being fresh from worshipping Goddess Laksmi (the goddess of wealth), I think it will be interesting to pen a few thoughts and words about money. An acquaintance used to say “Money is not god, but money is no lesser than a god as well !!” I think – How True !!

My wife and me often discuss – “what is more crucial in life : People or Money”? A probably cheeky but reasonable answer might be – “People who can generate money”. Money is one aspect of life and there are times when it has no substitute. At the same time, people are another aspect of life and there are times when there is no substitute. Are we not thinking just about life of people? Life exists without money and life also exists without people.

The answer to the question “what is more crucial in life?” has different answers – different persons might have different answer at the same time and same person might have different answers at different times. In a nutshell, both are important, definitely important. Although it seems to be an unfair and unreasonable question, the question keeps cropping up and we have to take decisions – people around versus the money. Don’t we spend more time getting educated for jobs and don’t we spend more time at jobs earning money than with the people closer to us? Doesn’t the house, the car we own and the job we do define us?

Probably, a more comprehensive answer to this question of life is – “There is much more to life than people and money”. The people around us are defining factors of our life and money engulfs us as well as enables us in our lives. We have to take good care of people, we have to ensure good flow of money PLUS there has to be much more to life. There is a house to be purchased, a car to be owned, retirement planning to be done, child education to be taken care of, life insurance to be addressed, health insurance to be bought, there is so much. There is a family, there are friends, there are relatives, there are peers, there are bosses, there is a society, there is quite a lot.

          The fun of life and the growing begins only once we can take care of ourselves, people and the money. It is important to have just the right combination of everything to ensure a smooth journey through our lives. If you don’t put the people and money first, rest assured you will have a bumpy ride – which again is not really bad, if you can achieve something which is worth it !!

Cocoon, Caterpillar and Butterfly

The ‘Random forest’ algorithm is an ensemble learning method for classification, regression and other tasks, that operate by constructing a multitude of decision trees at training time and outputting the class that is the mode of the classes(classification) or mean prediction(regression) of the individual trees.

The above is understandable only if you have some background of machine learning. We have an entire generation of engineers who have just not worked on machine learning, but are experts in artificial intelligence. There are experts in digital image analysis, natural language processing, bot building, Alpha beta pruning, etc. just to name a few areas of artificial intelligence.

            

                Having started on a relatively technical context, let’s get in the context of the blog – ‘Cocoon, Caterpillar and Butterfly’. We have a world of ‘developed nations’ who are busy dealing with the problems of scientific and technical prowess, while we also have a world, the world of ‘developing nations’ who are bound by the problems of life – the human life. The problems of hunger, the problems of poverty, the problems of casteism, the problems of reservations, the problems of making the ends meet in the day-to-day life.

                

                Coming closer to the world around – the software world, we have a world comprising of ‘developed professionals’ who are busy dealing with growing as professionals – doing the cutting edge work, honing the ‘niche skills’ while we also have another world, the world of ‘developing professionals’ who are bound by the problems of the life – the processional life. The problems of peer pressure, the problems of appraisals, the problems of job hopping, the problems of making the salaries making the ends meet in the day-to-day life.

                There is a saying ‘An average performer performs great in a great environment while a great performer performs average in an average environment'. The interesting part of the article is that the key of transforming from a ‘developing professional’ to ‘developed professional’ is hidden somewhere in the transformation from belonging in the ‘developing nation’ world to the ‘developed nation’ world.

                There is no free lunch anywhere in the world and only the journey can lead to a destination. The caterpillar has to struggle and survive the life in a cocoon to become the butterfly. A butterfly is a lovely, colorful, beautiful creature. The colors, the beauty, the loveliness are not only the resultant of caterpillar life but also the beginning of the life of a butterfly; till then it was just a caterpillar.